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Să divorțăm la bine și la rău

18/05/2012
30

Simona Catrina

Dacă e să citești legislația în vigoare (nu foarte revigorantă), motivele de divorț acceptate de instanță sunt vreo zece, nu mai multe. De exemplu (traduse pe înțelesul tuturor), adulterul, violența, neîncuviințarea la relații sexuale conjugale (fără justificări rezonabile), bolile incurabile ascunse partenerului, condamnarea la pușcărie a unuia dintre soți etc.

Totuși, dacă-ți rupi un pic din berea sau telenovela zilnică și dai o fugă prin tribunal, ai să vezi cele mai stupide motive de divorț, acceptate, culmea, de către instanță. De-a lungul timpului, multe site-uri au publicat cele mai tâmpite motive de scindare. Printre ele, se află (absolut autentic) sforăitul deșănțat. (Continuarea în Blitz Magazine… )

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30 comments

  1. Ina_adevarata 18 May, 2012 at 17:14

    Onorată instanță, pîrîta citește saituri injurioase de pe internet, adică saituri dintr-alea care fac mișto de domnul Dan, viitorul președinte și salvator al României. Eu, ca cetățean cu conștiința trează (e trează că stau toată noaptea și mă uit la OTV) nu mai pot să îmi trăiesc viața alături de o asemenea persoană fără simț politic, motiv pentru care vă solicit desfacerea căsătoriei.

  2. geo 18 May, 2012 at 17:26

    @Ina_adevarata: se aproba

  3. lena 18 May, 2012 at 17:39

    da, faza cu sforaitul,faza cu mizeria,faza cu…,faza cu….,minore,aparent,sunt picaturi care dau pe dinafara din pahar. la mine,au contat:)
    din off, pare subtire

  4. chocolate 18 May, 2012 at 18:24

    dar motive de casatorie accepta vreo instanta?

  5. geo 18 May, 2012 at 19:20

    Da’ de unde zece.. “motive temeinice” asa cum zice cum zice noul cod înseamnă găselnițe nebănuite.. asa ca dacă vrei, nici n-ai de ce să-ți pui problema temeiniciei.
    Ce este de-a dreptul hilar este ca martor poate sa fie oricine, adică și rudele și afinii pana la gradul al treilea inclusiv, adicătelea mama, tata, sora, fratele etc.
    ..deci, a divorța este un teatru câteodată tragic sau trist, dar privit din afara.. rămâne teatru de tragi-comedie..

    PS: Fratele Andryusha: nu-i asa ca, aseară, Steaua a jucat magistral ?

  6. Carmen Tanu 18 May, 2012 at 19:48

    Motivele de divort acceptate sunt putine, dar in instanta se mai si minte, nu?

  7. RoseN 18 May, 2012 at 19:48

    Va rog io un pic mai mult optimism in articole, ce dreaq, a venit primavara, alea alea…cu atitudini d’astea raman nemaritata, doar fu…ck cui ii mai trebuie probleme d’astea dupa cap :))

  8. Dan1 18 May, 2012 at 20:28

    Draga Simona, articolu’ ca articolu’, da’ ilustratia – magistrala! :))
    @Andryusha: Iti dai seama ce inseamna o femeie la volanul… jumatatii din spate a unui autoturism? =))

  9. Dan1 18 May, 2012 at 20:30

    @RoseN: Tu chiar nu intelegi nimic din articolele Simonei? Maritis = câh! Maritis = motiv de divort! Asta vrei? =))

  10. ady 18 May, 2012 at 21:23

    aidi bre, simona, ca p-acolo e si o gaselnita “când, din cauza unor motive temeinice, raporturile dintre soţi sunt grav vătămate şi continuarea căsătoriei nu mai este posibilă” iar oala cu “motive temeinice” e mai mare ca “gradina Domnului”, iar cea din urmae recunoscuta pe plan mondial pentru “marimea” sa (si pentru gard, da’ vorbeam de marime).

  11. Fratele Andryusha 18 May, 2012 at 21:32

    @Dan1:
    Mai bine tăia longitudinal, şi-i dădea nevestei jumătatea din dreapta… =))

  12. Michell 18 May, 2012 at 22:01

    Si traducerea pentru IT-isti:
    ( copy – paste )

    Last year a friend of mine, system administrator as myself, changed the application GirlFriend 6.0 by Wife 1.0 and found that the update was not very successful. First of all Wife 1.0 leaves very little system resources for other applications, not only this, but he has also realized that Wife 1.0 is a prolific processor of Babys 1.x, which are additionally consumers of valuable resources.

    There was no mention of this particular fact neither from the product manufacters nor in the warranty, altough some colleagues had inform me that this was expectable, due to the nature of the application.

    But surprises didn’t end up there, additionally Wife 1.0 configures itself so that it always starts when the system is initialized, from where it can monitor the rest of the processes.

    My friend is noticing that some applications like: NightOfPoker 10.3, BeerParty 2.5 and PubNight 7.0 no longer can be run, because Wife 1.0 locks the system when they are selected (even so they always worked fine before).

    During the installation, Wife 1.0 installs automatically services not desired, like MotherInLaw 55.8 and the DEMO version of BrotherInLaw. The most outstanding effects of these services are the progresive and daily degradation of the system.

    My friend is very seriously considering to change the version of the application Wife, but there are some features that he would like to be added to the next version (Wife 2.0), these are:

    A “Forget me” button and another for minimizing.
    A new option that allows to install Wife 2.0 with an option of “Desinstall at any time”, without losing the cache and other valuable system resources.
    An option to run the network controller in “promiscuous” mode, that allows to the system to try shareware version of different applications, to have a better knowledge of the market.

    I have decided to avoid all the headaches associated with Wife 1.0, continuing with GirlFriend 2.0. Even so, I have found many problems. Aparently you can’t install GirlFriend 2.0 on GirlFriend 1.0, you have to desinstall GirlFriend 1.0 first. Additionally, aparently, the versions of GirlFriend have conflicts to share the same I/O (Input/Output) port. The technical support has said me that it is a known bug and that they are looking for some way to bypass the problem, because it seems to be implemented in the kernel (heart) of the application and it is not a good idea to change it.

    Even worse, the program to desinstall GirlFriend 1.0 doesn’t work very well, leaving unwished traces of the application in the system. Another problem: all the versions of GirlFriend continually give anoying messanges about the advantages of changing to Wife 1.0. After talking again with the service they suggest me to ignore those messages, and when I point that for that solution it was not necessary to phone them, they go back again on the explanation of the former problem (bug in the kernel).

    WIFE 1.0 INCOMPATIBILITIES: If you try to install Lover 1.1 before desinstalling Wife 1.0, this erases the files MS-Money, and after it desinstalls itself. Then Lover 1.1 won’t install, claiming that system resources are too low. To avoid this effect, try to install Lover 1.1 in a different environment and never run a file transfer application, like LipStickSpot 6.0. Also try to avoid renting applications, because it’s known that they can transmit viruses that can affect Wife 1.0. Another solution is to run Lover 1.1 through a network provider with and anonimous name. Once again, avoid viruses that can be accidentally loaded.

    Va urma.

  13. ela 18 May, 2012 at 22:47

    Da’ de ce sa divortam cind putem sa nu ne casatorim ….. Atitea situatii neplacute si dezagreabile pot fi evitate ….

    :D:D:D

  14. Ina_adevarata 18 May, 2012 at 23:28

    @Fratele Andryusha:
    Ejti nasol pina la capat =)) =)) =))

  15. Michell 18 May, 2012 at 23:33

    Continuare:

    Do you want un uninstall Wife 1.0?
    REF: Operating SystemWife 1.0
    Dear Sirs,
    Last year I changed from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, and I have observed that the program runs a unexpected Child process 0.23 Beta that takes a lot of space and importan resources. In the leaflet of the program didn’t mention this phenomena.
    Furthermore, Wife 1.0 autoinstalls in all other programs and it runs when starting any other application, monitoring all activity of the system. Applications like Hunting 10.3, Drinking 4.0, HamRadio 2.5, or SundayFootball 5.0 no longer work, and the system hungs each time I wan to load them.
    Sometimes a hidden program (virus or trojan?) called MotherInLaw 1.0 that seem to be memory resident appears and it completely hungs the system or it makes Wife 1.0 behave in an unpredictable way, for instance, not accepting any command I enter.

    I haven’t managed to uninstall this resident program. Aparently I can’t keep Wife 1.0 minimized when running some of my Favorites applications. I’m thinking about going back to the former program GirlFriend 7.0, but uninstall doesn’t work. Could you help me?
    Thanks.

    ANSWER:
    Dear user,
    This a a very common complain among the users of Wife 1.0, but in general it’s because of a basic missunderstanding. Many people change from GirlFriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is just an amusing program or a utility program. However Wife 1.0 (on the contrary that GirlFriend 7.0) is a complete OPERATING SYSTEM and it was designed to control the whole system.
    It’s very unlikely that you can purge Wife 1.0 and convert it back to GirlFriend 7.0. There are hidden operating files in your system that would make GirlFriend 7.0 emulate Wife 1.0, so it’s not worth.

    It’s impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files once installed. You can’t use GirlFriend 7.0 any more because Wife 1.0 is programed for that. The same happens with MotherInLaw 1.0 that is a hidden application that autoinstalls in the system while Wife 1.0 is running.
    Some people have tried formating the system completely in order to later install the programs GirlFriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but they end up with more problems than before. Read the manual, section “Precautions”, chapters “Divoce pensions – Child custody”
    On the other hand, if you change to GilfFriend 8.0 don try later to change to Wife 2.0 because the problems of this new version of the operating system are the same, or even worst, than those of Wife 1.0. Although a version 3.0 (and even 4.0) of Wife exists, they are only for specialists and not advisable for the normal user.

    If all fails, it’s better to try systems based in completely different platforms, like Celibacy 1.0 or Gay 5.3. I recomend you keep Wife 1.0 and handle the situation the best you can.

    I personally also have Wife 1.0 installed, and I suggest you study the whole section of the manual “General Faults of Society (GFS’s)”
    Wife 1.0 is a program very sensible to commands and it works in “Fail-Safe” mode. This means that you must assume the responsability of any problem that arises, independently of its reason, because the program will always consider any system fault as being due to the improper handling of the user.
    One of the main application utilities is the command C:\IAMSORRY when a problem arises or the systems hungs. Don’t restart the system because it will continue failing. Avoid an excesive use of the “ESC” or “DEL” keys, because then you will have to use the IAMSORRY command in order to make the program work normally. The system will work nicely if you assume all blames of GFS’s. Wife 1.0 is a program very interesting, but with a high cost of maintenance.
    Consider the possibility to install some additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recomend you Candy 2.1 or Flowers 5.0.

    You can also use YesDarling 8.0 o YouAreRight 14.7, they are very well know Shareware programs that work great as residents. You can get them almost anywhere.

    NEVER INSTALL SecretaryInMiniSkirt 3.3, OldFriendWithBigTeats 7.5 o Buddies 4.6. These progrmas doesn’t work under Wife 1.0 and will probably cause irreversible damage to the Operating System.

    Good luck. The technician.

  16. RoseN 18 May, 2012 at 23:50

    Frate Andryusha, sper ca traiesti 😀

  17. Fratele Andryusha 19 May, 2012 at 00:24

    Măi trăiesc, deşi meciurile CheFeReului îmi zdruncină serios sănătatea… =))

  18. mifty 19 May, 2012 at 01:34

    @Fratele Andryusha: e pedeapsă de la Ăl De Sus!!!
    (adică de la 10!!! :P)

  19. Alexandra 19 May, 2012 at 06:49

    Si totusi sforaitul chiar este motiv de divort :))

  20. Dan1 19 May, 2012 at 09:57

    @Alexandra: Esti tânara, de-aia pui asemenea întrebari: este vorba despre sforaitul în timpul actului sexual! =))

  21. aiurea 19 May, 2012 at 09:59

    eu nu inteleg de ce ar trebui sa existe un motiv sa divortezi. daca nu iti mai convine la un job iti cauti altul si nu dai explicatii de ce vrei sa pleci nu? asa ar trebui sa fie si in casatorie. :))

  22. N.A. 19 May, 2012 at 10:43

    @Fratele Andryusha: Bine ca n-ai propus pe diagonala! :))

  23. Fratele Andryusha 19 May, 2012 at 11:18

    @N.A.:
    De fapt, eu aş fi propus să păstreze bărbatul tot, da’ aşa era fotografia… 😛

  24. N.A. 19 May, 2012 at 14:18

    @Dan1: Nu ca-i tanara, dar, la cum arata in avatar, nu cred ca e in pericol sa i se intample. 🙂

  25. ionut 19 May, 2012 at 15:11

    @Alexandra: Mhmmm.. s-a schimbat ceva: ti-ai tuns avatarul :))
    @Dan1: de-ar fi doar tinerete, ar fi simplu :))

  26. Ciprian 19 May, 2012 at 16:38

    Miau!

  27. Dan1 19 May, 2012 at 16:55

    @Ciprian: Aha! Tu esti noul Arsulici! :))

  28. Ciprian 19 May, 2012 at 17:12

    @Dan1: atunci e cazul sa schimb gravatarul. :))

  29. Dan1 19 May, 2012 at 20:20

    @Ciprian: De ce bre, ca Arsuliciul era comentator premium! :))

  30. Ciprian 19 May, 2012 at 20:21

    @Dan1: pai tocmai de aia, o sa aiba Julius atatea pretentii de la mine. =))

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